Fruity Four . com

This is it!

A little rap and video compilation i made about my time as a grocery boy at Woolworths!

Woolies 4 life nigga, put up your hands!

February 02, 2009 was or should be officially bookmarked as good-looking day. The hordes of beautiful people were out and about doing what good people usually do, but looking smashing at the same time. For some reason the majority had their hair done nicely, their clothes ironed nicely and more importantly co-ordinated, and smiles attached to their “shaven and well-done makeup” faces. I was sure glad i did my hair this day, as any man who decided to walk out in anything less then their Sunday best would be considered an outcast.

So the weather was fine, the sun was exquisid and accentuated the beauty of the landscape below with the incredible tone of it’s blue sky aura. The people were fine, the attitudes were flawless… it was a day like no other and one to remember.

Good-Looking day. Amen!

Thanks to Hamish Williams for this

I looked into my garden today and what did i see?
A growing candy watermelon staring deep into my soul.

To fully understand the significance of having this watermelon stare deep into my naked soul, i must first tell you how this began…

September 6th, 2009 was pretty much a day like any other… There were birds in the trees, commuters on the roads and neighbours trimming their hedges and mowing their lawns. Although, little did i know this day would be the start of something very special.

Since the day just happened to be fathers day, i made the journey to the local hardware store to pick the old man up something he had wanted for ages… a new rake! While grabbing this dazzling new green rake with a wooden handle, i came about possibly the most underrated part of hardware stores these days, “The seeds section.” Suddenly, a new world opened before my eyes. I saw myself surrounded by lemons and apples, roses and daisies, tulips, mangoes, sage and parsley herb gardens, everything my heart desired at that very instant of my life. I then said to myself quietly, “I take this challenge God!” and i chose a small red packet labled “Candy Red WaterMelons” and continued on my way.

The planting of the seeds came soon after the purchase, and was a simple enough process to comprehend. Make a small hole in the ground, drop in the seed, cover up the hole and then water the area. Smack Bang Shabang! took me 2 seconds to do. And then the wait for the lucious fruit began.

I watered the melon plant everyday. I watered when the sun was high and i watered when the sun was nigh. I sometimes even watered twice a day. I was committed to these melons and i sure as hell wasn’t going to give up on them when they became sick early this summer.

Anyway, turns out that I looked after that watermelon plant so well, that only 4 and a half months after i planted the seeds did i begin to reap the rewards of what i had sown…

Check it out, the first “Fruity Four” fruit ever to be born

The First of the Fruity Four to be born

An older woman and her even older mother stand next to a display of ladies shoes, just chatting amongst themselves, possibly looking to make a purchase. A man approaches the ladies from the left (never from behind), picks up a black pair of women’s heels and says,

“Hmm, Do you reckon my Dad would like these?”

The women look at the stranger with puzzled expressions. The stranger continues…

“Oh, well i’m sort of shopping for my mothers birthday present and I’m pretty sure that she would like these shoes, but do you reckon my dad would like them too, on her of course”

The younger of the two women begins to understand and replies, “I guess, well they are nice shoes,”

The stranger then adds, “I mean if she was ONLY wearing these shoes?”

The woman laughs, nods her head and replies with something like “I’m sure he would.”

The stranger moves away and the successful approach ends.

This is called “Storming”. Storming is the art of approaching complete strangers with the intent of forming neutral and interesting conversation. It can turn a dull day at the mall into a whole new experience. It can test your character and help develop the playful side of your personality. And the best thing about storming, is it can involve anybody, anytime, anywhere.

You can storm at the gym, the grocer, the shoe store and definitely the work place. Perhaps it’s also a great way to make friends as well for people looking for companionship from their storming efforts. Try storming the dude with more body piercings then body parts and see what he’s about. You never know, he could be the best fellow you’ve ever met.

With storming, your almost always guaranteed results, and don’t worry, it can be a little daunting at times, but just go for it. The results are usually positive depending on the situation you get yourself into, though negative outcomes do also occur. But usually they are the best ones to learn from! Rules of the Game, by author Neil Strauss has all the information and guidelines you need when it comes to approaches.

Storming isn’t sleezy, although some people might turn it into such. Storm for the fun, the memories and the stories. Get out there and get Storming!

We’ve all eaten things that suck from time to time. Maybe it was that greasy burger they served cold from that joint in the valley, or that off tasting spring roll you picked up from a truckstop in the middle of nowhere. Mabye it was a first peice of chicken you had at KFC that put you off the rest of your meal, that tasted like it had been dragged through manure and then deep fried, and then run under the arm pit of some sweaty man only to be immediatly served to you. Yeah maybe all these things are crappy, but does any one of these delicacies constitute as the crappiest thing you’ve ever eaten.

A man from a tribe in the Northern Teritory says that he’s staying away from wombat tail ever since it became the crappiest thing he’d ever eaten. He said that once he’d tried steak on the barbie, there was no way he was turning back to that backyard bullshit.

A young redheaded boy from Brisbane once stated that he’d just eaten the crappiest thing ever after downing a curried chicken kebab on a stick. It was a combination of the texture, flavor, and the products unlikely abillity to be before it’s best before date that had this ginger kid on his knees just minutes after the purchase.

Life can be cruel sometimes, but when it comes to food remember that you have a choice. If your eating it, and it sucks serious balls, well… you made that choice. The power is yours!

A Wombat from the N.T

Richard

Hey… Richard here, on an average day this is what i get up too!

Rad!

This is fun to do…

Car

Drive an F1… to work

Dr. Fun

“Oh good, you didn’t kill him Richard…”

Good times!

A Lunchtime swim…”Lol, stinging balls”

Nice Quads Baby!

Save the day…

Charity Photo 1099

Get paid the Richard way…

Love

Simply the greatest way to point at someone, something or in a specific direction while drinking beers from the bottle.

Say your at some sort of party or event and your standing around with a beer in your hand. Your also eating salted peanuts while at the same time, conversating with your mates, and suddenly you have the need to point something out. Well, just point it out then, but do it with your beer.

Below is the beer pointing model. If you should choose to Beer Point, here’s how to do it properly

The Art of Beer Pointing

Why you should beer point:

• Because it’s a safe and friendly way to acknowledge people
• Because when people see you doing it, they automatically think your a great guy
• It makes you feel like you are important
• It makes others feel like they are important

Beer pointing is generally used for good, and is taken almost like one would take a nod of the head or a friendly wink with a click of the tongue. But in certain circumstances, the same method can be used as a form of intimidation and can bring unfavorable consequences. If someone beer points in someone elses direction, and the pointer doesn’t appear facially friendly, then the person being beer pointed may take it as a sign of aggression, and then coincidentally act out of aggression themselves.

If you choose to beer point, keep a smile planted on your face, and don’t hold the point for too long. Even throw a head nod in if the mood strikes you.

It was a warm summer morning and i was walking to the local convenience store for some necessities i would be needing for the day. Having a few drinks the night before and staying up later than usual meant that i was a little tired, and with the warm sun beaming down on me, i felt my energy just dissipating from my body. It wasn’t long before i was met with a few consecutive obstacles as well like drains, open manholes and such that caused me to take a larger stride while i continued my lazy morning walk to the grocer. “The PowerStep” was suddenly invented.

What Is “The Powerstep”

The Powerstep is a simple exercise that a person commits to while they are walking. It is a larger step or stride that may also be considered a “Superstep,” and it is taken about three times a minute or once every 20 or so steps. Some even take the Powerstep to a leaping phase throughout points of their walking journey. Using this powerful excercise, a person will experience increased blood circulation which will improve their mental focus, stamina and tap into a their natural energy scource that will make the journey a whole lot easier, not to mention a whole lot more enjoyable and add that extra glow to your cheeks.

Show some determination and give your body the gift of life! Give it the PowerStep!

“Get Down Now! Hands Behind your head Now!”

Oh Great.. it looks like you’ve just been arrested, yadi yadi yah, they cuff you up and put you into the back of the squad car. Your now cuffed meaning you have less than 15 cm of hand separation and your ability to do the western lasso dance move no longer exists. This is all good and well but the idea here is, what if your escorting officers are taken down on your way back to the station and you have to fend for yourself while still cuffed.

All is not lost… because you’ve recently learnt the art of “Handcuff Fighting.” Lucky for you right!

Man to Man Combat

“A Cuffed man must always stay on his feet”

Your restricted arm and hand movement may actually come in handy when it’s turns into a public death match when your all cuffed up. Remember that you have an aluminum weight in your hands, that can also pass as a very nice strangling device to finish them off. Circle your opponent, swiftly and aggressively with a very intimidating stance.

First bring the cuffs to the front from under your feet.

Good, you’ve shown your opponent that even though your handicapped, your confident and ready to throw down. Now it’s  your time to show them a little bit of that handcuff spirit. Turn your body about 90 degrees from facing position with your stronger arm facing their way. What you are going to do is use your elbow as your fist and your shoulder as your shield. From this angle you will appear in a defensive mode, but the reality is you know what your doing and this is far from a retreat position. You know it, and your opponent will not. Remain positioned and let him come to you. With this stance, speed won’t be your best ability, and you don’t want to risk falling down while cuffed, it’s devastating. A cuffed man must always stay on his feet. Remain positioned and keep those legs spread a little to maintain balance.

Remember an elbow punch can be just as or more destructive as a fist punch if done correctly. Just know where your funny bone and avoid hitting with that spot. Allow yourself a little more room with the elbow punch as you have a set distance between it and your shoulder. This is your strike range.

The best place to target an elbow punch blow is the nose. From the angle you are hitting from, you will be able to take advantage of the weakest part of the nose and do a lot more damage than a basic front on fist punch. Remember that your knees will also come in handy and after you’ve used your elbow to punch your opponent, use your opposing leg to knee your target in the fun area. You should be in a good position by this time.

Now use your ball and chain, and deliver to your a opponent the capable deviation that is your handcuffs.. or run for your life.

“A cuffed man must always stay on his feet!”

Man, is the summertime off the big bad brass hook or what! Hell yeah it is, and hell yeah to that hell yeah! Yesterday the coast was calling my name with a serious tone. It was like “Brodie, don’t be an arsehole and come down the coast and swim in me.” Well i sure wasn’t going to be labeled an A.Hole so i said “ALLRIGHT THEN!” and wham, I was there…

What can i say, I just want you to see my photo with Trevor, Winner of Big Brother 4.

Trevor From Big Brother, and a fine CarKey GetUP!